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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29032968">A Night in the Bunker</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fizzlesfolly/pseuds/fizzlesfolly'>fizzlesfolly</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Background Saileen, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, M/M, Season 15, The Empty Deal, The Mixtape, background dreamhunters, before finale, jody is only mentioned, the bunker</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:28:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,146</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29032968</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fizzlesfolly/pseuds/fizzlesfolly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Around this time every night, with Sam and Dean out of his way, Castiel has time to clean the Bunker. He cannot help but think of what filth the boys would be living in without him. "</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Kaia Nieves/Claire Novak</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Night in the Bunker</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>10:30 pm<br/>
Dean is drying the last dish and placing it on the rack. He should have started the dishes hours ago, but Jack had brought out a deck of cards right after dinner. His hands fumbled as he clumsily half-shuffled the cards. Dean couldn’t help it. He had playfully swatted at Jack’s hands and took the cards from him.<br/>
“That’s not how you shuffle. Now watch closely.” He smoothly shuffled the cards and they made a soft puffing sound that mark a professional card player. Without meaning to, Dean had dealt the cards and suddenly they were teaching Jack and Cas the rules of poker.<br/>
Meanwhile, the dinner dishes were stacked in the Bunker’s kitchen sink, grease congealing along Dean’s burger pans and ketchup crusting to every plate. Dean wipes his hands on a dish towel and throws it onto the counter behind him. He turns around to find that Jack is eating milk and cookies. Two more dishes that he’ll have to deal with. With a roll of his eyes he picks up Jack’s empty cookie plate to clean it off quickly so maybe he can get to bed. At the map table in the other room, Sam is still agonizing over some books, rereading anything that might give them an advantage over Chuck.<br/>
Sam feels his eyelids tug. Sighing deeply, he closes the book and goes to the Bunker’s kitchen. “Goodnight; I’m heading to bed.”<br/>
“Night, Sammy.”<br/>
“Goodnight Sam.”<br/>
Sam turns to leave, the book he was reading is still tucked under his arm, but he stops.<br/>
“Oh, Jack. I was reading something earlier. The Men of Letters had a whole series of texts on Nephilim. I was going through them to see if there was anything that could help us figure out Billie’s plan for you. So far there’s nothing on that, but I did see some data about Nephilim sleep schedules. I don’t think you’ve been sleeping enough. You’ve been getting, what? Two or three hours a night?”<br/>
Jack looks down guiltily. “Something like that.”<br/>
“Do me a favor and try to make it five tonight? I think you’ll feel better.”<br/>
“Yes, Sam. I’ll try it.”<br/>
“Alright. Goodnight.” Sam flicked his wrist in half a wave and ran off to bed. </p><p>11 pm<br/>
Castiel, Jack, and Dean are seated at the kitchen table. They chat idly about nothing serious for a change: music Dean wants to show Jack, Cas’ fashion choices, the endearing yet out-of-date memes Donna sends to the group chat. At some point Dean gets up from the table, lays a hand on Cas’ shoulder that rests just a beat too long, and lets out the longest and most unnecessary yawn imaginable.<br/>
“I better hit the sack. Memory foam here I come.” he smiles. “G’Night.”<br/>
Jauntily, Dean makes his exit which leaves Cas and Jack alone in the Bunker, everything quiet. Cas soon gets up from the table to complete his nightly routine. He checks the fridge and makes a list of all of the things he can fill up on from the twenty-four-hour gas station a couple of streets over. He likes to avoid the Gas n’ Sip even though it is closer. Seeing the freeze machines not cleaned properly or the cashiers making dumb mistakes irritates him after working there himself. Going somewhere else is easier.<br/>
“Jack, I’m going to make a run. Do you want to come with me?”<br/>
“Sure. Let me just-” Jack puts the deck of cards from earlier away no better at shuffling and dealing than before. He and Cas pile into Castiel’s  truck for the short drive.<br/>
Cas looks at Jack with fatherly contempt. “Put on your seat belt.”<br/>
“Dean doesn’t wear his seatbelt.”<br/>
“Dean does a lot of things you shouldn’t emulate.” Cas responds with an equally tired expression. Jack is reluctant but complies.<br/>
Jack fidgets with the seatbelt not liking the way it scratches and puts marks on his shoulder. “Cas, can I ask you something?”<br/>
“Of course. You can always ask me anything.”<br/>
“Well I was thinking, when you made that deal with the empty, they said a moment of true happiness would summon her.”<br/>
Cas gets defensive. “Jack, I told you we wouldn’t have to worry about that deal.”<br/>
“But why? Are you so unhappy? With me and Sam and Dean, I mean. I know we have Chuck to deal with but we have fun sometimes. Like tonight with poker. But the empty still won’t come for you. I guess I’m wondering what your true happiness is if our family, the way it is, isn’t enough.<br/>
Cas groans. “Jack-<br/>
“I’m not mad or anything.” Jack clarifies. “I care about you, and I want you to be happy. Knowing that you can’t is killing me. I really want to understand why.”<br/>
“It doesn’t matter, Jack. The empty said that I’ll be taken away when I have a moment of true happiness. You, Sam, Dean-You already make me happy. The joy you add to my life, Jack, is worth the sacrifice. Besides, there is only one thing that may be missing from my existence, and it is something I will never obtain. That is why I’m not worried about the empty. And I’m okay with that. You and the Winchesters are enough for me. More than enough. More than I could have ever asked for.”<br/>
Jack tilts his head in a way that looks so much like Castiel that Cas wonders for a second if Jack is biologically his. It warms his heart, but the empty was specific enough to make Cas know exactly what deal he was making.<br/>
I know what you fear. I know who you love.<br/>
“But what is it? Why can’t you have it? Besides the empty, obviously.”<br/>
“I’d rather not talk about it, Jack. It doesn’t make any difference.”<br/>
Jack relents. They have arrived at the gas station anyway. “Alright.”<br/>
They go inside. Cas grabs a case of beer and a couple packages of candy he thinks that Dean will appreciate. The ride home is silent yet comfortable as both men contemplate what they’ve discussed.<br/>
Cas can’t help but think about another night, a hand on his shoulder, a street light shining and reflecting the green eyes in front of him.<br/>
Don’t ever change.</p><p>12 am<br/>
Cas puts the beer in the fridge. He leaves the candy next to the coffee machine so Sam and Dean will find it easily the next morning. Jack goes to the map room to look through some books Sam and Dean recommended to him. Some of the books are for research. There is his portion of lore to get through, Sam’s Nephilim texts which Dean tends to joke are “Self Help” books. There’s also room for recreation. Dean recommends novels while Sam always offers a biography, usually about true crime.<br/>
Around this time every night, with Sam and Dean out of his way, Castiel has time to clean the Bunker. He cannot help but think of what filth the boys would be living in without him. Actually, he doesn’t have to think. His mind flashes back to old motel rooms, dirty clothes strewn over the floor, wet towels piled into corners, and fast food packages left in stacks on the meager motel-kitchenette cabinets. Of course, the boys are not as bad as they used to be since the Bunker is home and those motels were temporary. Sam doesn’t clean much, but he keeps up with his laundry better than anyone else in the Bunker. Dean cooks and does the dishes. Cas does most of the rest.<br/>
Cas tries to clean a different room each night. Tonight, he starts with some paper towels and a multi-surface cleaner. He wipes off the map table. Then he sweeps and mops until the floor is spotless. He gathers some books that Sam left out and sorts through them leaving some in stacks while others are returned to their shelves. Once he finishes that, he goes to Jack’s room to start on his laundry. Magical cleanliness is apparently not a power of the Nephilim. He actually has to wash his clothes and shower to keep up appearances. However, Jack isn’t allowed to use the washing machine after he ruined some clothes in the very old 1940s style washer. Cas doesn’t mind doing Jack’s laundry. Sometimes Jack helps in other ways. He can run mop water, and he will take out the trash if Cas asks him, something Sam and Dean NEVER do.<br/>
Normally when cleaning this room, Castiel would also mop the steps and dust a few of the nearer bookshelves, but he gives up. He doesn’t have enough cleaner left to do that anyway. He makes a mental note to add cleaner to the grocery list they keep in the Bunker’s kitchen.<br/>
Jack eventually gives up on his activity, too. He yawns dramatically just because that’s what Dean had done, and gets up from the table. He lazily throws his arms around Castiel who reciprocates the hug with his free arm. His other arm is holding the mop handle. Cas pats Jack once on the back before releasing him.<br/>
“Goodnight, Cas. I love you.”<br/>
“I love you, too, Jack.”<br/>
“Dean doesn’t like it when I say that to him.” Jack mumbled sleepily.<br/>
Cas internally curses Dean for making things so difficult. “Dean doesn’t like to feel vulnerable. He shows his love in other ways.”<br/>
“Or maybe he just doesn’t like me.”<br/>
“In all of my years of knowing Dean, I have only heard him tell one other person he loves them. Sam. But Dean does care about you. He shows it by teaching you to shuffle cards and insisting you listen to his music. It’s subtle. But it’s there. And it’s just as full of love as words would be to you and me.”<br/>
Jack throws his arms around Cas again, this hug even shorter than the last. “Goodnight, Cas. I’ll see you tomorrow.”<br/>
“Sleep well.”</p><p>2 am<br/>
The cleaning supplies get squared away and Cas heads to his own room. He doesn’t need to sleep, and his bed shows it. The covers are neatly folded up and perfectly straightened. Cas never even sits on it. His room is completely bare, and it would appear that nobody lives here at all except for the few possessions it contains. One drawer holds a spare trench coat and a couple of ties. Cas’ charger and phone dangle off of the nightstand. Another drawer holds Dean’s old walkman and the mixtape that Dean made for Cas.<br/>
It’s a gift. You keep those.<br/>
Cas pulls out the walkman to play the tape. He listens to it almost every night, sometimes while he cleans. He has thought about asking Dean to make him another mixtape so that he has something else to listen to on the walkman, but that would involve complimenting Dean’s taste in music which Castiel refuses to do even though Dean’s taste IS pretty good. Dean has made fun of Castiel’s music too often to earn that kind of praise. He takes the walkman and his phone to the kitchen. Cas folds his trenchcoat under his thighs and sits with perfect posture against the chair.<br/>
He skips to his favorite song on the tape. D’yer Maker. He pretends that Dean put the song there for his sake and not just because it is a favorite.<br/>
“You don’t have to go oh oh oh oh.” sings the man from the box. Cas thinks-No-He hopes-That Dean is using the song to say things he can’t himself.<br/>
Listen, buddy. You can’t stay.<br/>
Suddenly his phone starts blaring.<br/>
Cas picks up. “Hello, Claire.”<br/>
Claire being a night owl herself tends to call Cas in the middle of the night. And Cas appreciates it. It can get pretty lonely. Like spending every other day isolated from the people you love.<br/>
“Hey, Cas. You’ll never guess where me and Kaia are.”<br/>
“Where are y-<br/>
“Vegas!!!” Kaia yells into the speaker phone, definitely inebriated.<br/>
Cas puts on his I’m-not-your-father-but-I’m-going-to-parent-you-anyway voice. “I thought Sam sent you to hunt a shapeshifter. You shouldn’t be partying with a monster on the loose.”<br/>
“We ganked that son of a bitch three days ago. We decided to spend the last night blowing off a little steam.”<br/>
They couldn’t see each other, but they eye rolled at the exact same time at that remark.<br/>
Claire put on her you’re-not-my-dad-but-you-are-dressed-like-him-so-I’ll-be-slightly-more-respectful-voice. “Don’t worry, Cas. We’re being safe. Kaia had a couple of drinks but I only had one beer. We’re going to hit the casino for an hour and then head back to our room for the night. We won’t leave until tomorrow morning. Besides, I already called Jody and she tried to convince us to stay one extra night. And if Jody isn’t worried, you don’t have any reason to be.”<br/>
Cas couldn’t argue with that logic, and he was glad Claire was doing something young and normal knowing that he is the cause for her troubled and hectic life. He knows Claire isn’t actually his daughter, but sometimes it feels that way, especially since he is trying to keep his oath that he made to Jimmy.<br/>
“I’m glad you’re having fun.” he said honestly, dropping the topic.<br/>
She changes the subject. “How’s Ken doll and the moose?”<br/>
“As good as they can be under the circumstances. This thing with Chuck,” Cas sighs, “It’s so complicated.”<br/>
“I’ll bet. I texted Dean that I’m only a phone call away to join this fight. He ignored me. But C’mon! God! That’s the ultimate hunt!”<br/>
“That’s exactly why he didn’t call you.” he deadpans.<br/>
“Whatever. I better get going. Kaia looks like she’s gonna be sick. Take care of yourself.”<br/>
Cas tries to say,“Goodbye, Claire,” but she had already hung up.</p><p>3 am<br/>
Cas checks the time before putting his phone in his pocket. He wraps the cord around his walkman and slips that into his pocket as well. Around this time each night he allows himself the luxury of watching over the Winchesters.<br/>
He slips into Dean’s room; the cracked door makes no noise.  He positions himself on the left side of Dean’s bed and looks down on him. He tosses once onto his other side so that he now faces Cas, but he keeps his hands clenched under the pillow almost certainly clutching his gun.<br/>
He’s an angry sleeper. Like a Bear.<br/>
Dean used to complain about Cas watching him sleep. He still does on occasion saying it’s creepy or that he doesn’t like it. But Cas considers himself Sam and Dean’s guardian angel. Watching them sleep and making sure nothing happens to them is the primary part of the job.<br/>
The first time Cas had watched them sleep in the Bunker, he went to Sam’s room first. Sam is a fairly light sleeper to begin with. Cas had opened the door and Sam was awake, reading a book.<br/>
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disturb you.” Cas had said.<br/>
Sam didn’t even put his book down. “It’s okay. Did you need something?”<br/>
“No. I was just checking on you.”<br/>
“Thanks, Cas. But. Uh. Don’t.”<br/>
Cas stopped checking in on Sam after that. With Sam, Cas felt too worried about his insomnia to disturb any sleep he might get, but Dean worried him. He slept hard, always seemingly plagued with nightmares and shoulders tensed with worry. He couldn’t seem to rest though he was asleep.<br/>
That same night that he had checked on Sam, he had gone to check on Dean next. He opened the door without much care. Dean bolted upright without thinking and shot a whole clip into Cas’ abdomen. Luckily, at the time, Cas’ grace had been restored and he healed. Dean had jumped out of bed, eyes still squinting with sleep.<br/>
“Cas…?”<br/>
“Dean! I’m sorry! I-<br/>
Sam ran through Dean’s door behind Cas, a demon blade in his hand. “What’s going on?”<br/>
“Cas what are you doing?”<br/>
Sam looked at the sight before him. Dean with a gun in his hand. Cas with several bullet holes in his trenchcoat. It didn’t take him long to put it together. “I’m going back to bed.”<br/>
With Sam gone, Cas had to face Dean.<br/>
“Cas, why were you sneaking into my room in the middle of the night? You know who does that? Stalkers. Crazy people.”<br/>
Cas looked guilty but held Dean’s gaze. Dean threw his gun on the bed and wiped at his eyes. “You came in here to watch me sleep?”<br/>
Cas made no move to answer, suddenly feeling a little miffed at being called a stalker.<br/>
“Dude we’ve been over this. It’s creepy.”<br/>
“I fail to see how making sure you’re alive and taking away your nightmares is creepy.”<br/>
Dean was incredulous. “Oh so you’re going around inside my head, now?”<br/>
“I don’t know what you’re dreaming about.” Cas learned long ago, the hard way, that privacy is one of the most important facets of free will. It is one of the many lessons Dean has taught him over the years. Having privacy for the first time, away from his brothers and sisters, showed Cas the value of free thought. “I only said I took away your nightmares. You sleep scrunched into a tight ball at night, Dean. I hover one hand above your head, and you relax. You deserve restful sleep.”<br/>
At having heard this, Dean started feeling guilty. All this time Cas was helping him out, and he always got yelled at for it. When did anybody ever do anything for Cas?<br/>
“That isn’t the only reason.” Cas adds.<br/>
Dean arches an eyebrow as Cas’ cue to continue. “I don’t sleep anymore. At first I believed sleeping to be inconvenient. Now that I can’t sleep, it feels like there is so much extra time in a day. And I spend that time alone. Watching over you and Sam at least gives me the illusion of company.” He leaves out that part where he plans to not watch over Sam anymore.<br/>
Dean took in Cas’ words for a moment. He nodded his head once before sliding back into bed. He didn’t look at Cas or say anything else to him that night. In fact, they never spoke about it again, but every night after, even on the days they were fighting, Dean left his door cracked and the hinges oiled so Cas could work his angel magic without getting shot. Or stabbed. Again.<br/>
Now he looks down on Dean who is sleeping peacefully. Living in the Bunker this long has made him feel safer. There are fewer nights Cas has to stop the nightmares. His shoulders are relaxed, and his arms hang out to one side. Cas knows that there is probably still a knife or a gun under his pillow, but he doesn’t hold it all night like it’s the only teddy bear his father ever let him have.<br/>
He resists the urge to run a hand over Dean’s head where his hair is sticking out of place. It would probably be ruffled again from sleep in a second, but the urge is still strong. And what would it be like to be human again?  To slip in beside him and sleep and dream. To feel warm. Being awake at night is so cold which makes him think of Sam and pity him: The human that doesn’t sleep.<br/>
Sometimes he wishes that Dean could always be like this, as soft and as vulnerable as he is in his sleep. Sleep casts the shadow of innocence that was stolen from him by his father and the apocalypse and all the rest. Still, Dean wouldn’t want him to stay too long. He walks quietly out of the room, careful to not make his coat swish too much.</p><p>4 am<br/>
Sam pours himself a glass of water from the kitchen sink. Cas enters the kitchen. He isn’t surprised to see Sam up this early. He has seen him out the door on a jog even earlier than this before. Sam has his workout clothes on, so maybe he did just get back from running. Either that, or he is on his way out now.<br/>
“Good morning, Sam. Did you sleep well?” It’s an awkward question since it’s four in the morning and they both already know the answer.<br/>
Sam has the courtesy to lie. “Yeah. I was just getting ready to go on a run.”<br/>
So it wasn’t his worst night. “How are things with Eileen?”<br/>
Sam smiles and looks down like a teenager that gets asked who they like in Truth or Dare. “We’re good. We’re taking it slow. How’s Dean sleeping?”<br/>
“Surprisingly well.” he won’t elaborate further.<br/>
Sam finishes his glass of water and puts in his ear buds. He waves goodbye to Cas on his way out of the kitchen. Cas returns to his place at the table and pulls his walkman out once again. He starts the tape from the beginning with Ramble On, Dean’s professed number one favorite.<br/>
“Got no time for spreading roots. The time has come to be gone. And though our health we drank a thousand times. It’s time to ramble on.”<br/>
Cas thinks about Dean’s life. How he was wants a child full of potential to be anything. How he grew up in the hunting life, his free will stripped from his as much as the angels. How there is always that voice in the back of his mind, gnawing at him, begging him for better. How one day soon Dean will make a very human mistake that will end his life, and there is nothing Castiel can do to stop it. Cas can see why Dean chose his favorite songs. What he cannot grasp is what Dean means by giving him this tape. The idea keeps haunting him until Jack wakes up.</p><p>6 am<br/>
Jack pours himself a bowl of sugary cereal. Cas helps him get rid of the evidence before Sam gets back. Sam has been taking longer and longer to get back from his outings. It reminds Cas of how Sam acted when he was drinking demon blood. He wonders if he should confront Sam about the behavior, but Sam hasn’t shown any other signs of a relapse. Maybe he will just ask him what takes him so long.<br/>
For the record, he tends to video chat Eileen around five when she gets up in the morning. That is what has been keeping him. Sam would be lying if he said he still didn’t think about the demon blood, though. The power it gave him. Often on hunts he finds himself wishing he had those abilities again. Any time he gets thrown around by demon minion #4 he tries, just a little, to use his mind like he used to. It doesn’t work without the blood anymore. He almost digs out his keys and his demon blade to hunt down some defenseless demon. To calm himself down, he thinks about Crowley. Crowley’s human blood addiction that paralleled his own problems so well keeps him steady. He doesn’t want to have anything in common with Crowley despite their (friendship?) ending on reasonably good terms.<br/>
Back in the Bunker, Dean tiredly stomps into the kitchen to have breakfast. Cas already has coffee brewed for him. He doctors his cup and goes to sit at the table. He uses Cas’ shoulder to steady himself as he sits down.<br/>
“Mornin’, Sunshine.” He still holds Cas’ shoulder but he is looking at Jack, perhaps greeting both of them with the same phrase. Sam walks into the kitchen still talking to Eileen on the phone. He signs a goodbye to her and joins his family at the table. Cas feels a little better about him being out so long.<br/>
Castiel looks around the kitchen, taking in the sight of his family. Dean gets up briefly to make some toast but sits back down right next to Cas, their knees knocking together under the table. Sam already has a book out and sips his coffee, making a face as he burns himself with it. Jack is reading knock-knock jokes from his phone, and Dean laughs every time even though they aren’t funny. Cas recalls what Jack said to him last night.<br/>
I guess I’m wondering what your true happiness is, if our family, the way it is, isn’t enough.<br/>
Dean gets up from the table and puts his plate in the sink. The sudden absence wakes Cas from his thoughts, daydreams being the only kind he has anymore. There’s a joke somewhere about how even in the empty, he wasn’t able to sleep. Luckily he will never have to go back.<br/>
But he looks around again. Sam reading. Dean cooking egg whites just because Sam asked for them. Jack smiling around his cereal spoon.<br/>
Cas couldn’t ask for anything more.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Cross posted on Wattpad.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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